It's Christmas Day, my fiancé is sleeping due to being unfortunately ill, so I assumed that since many of you are wanting to hear the story I would make an attempt to tell it. :)
By Saturday, December 20th, Ben and I had already seen Montmartre, climbed the Sacré Coeur, took pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and many other classic tourist monuments in my favorite city, but he had yet to walk down the Champs-Elysée at night with the lights and Christmas markets along the streets.
....did I forget to mention I HATE tourists? Why on earth would you bring your infant in a stroller to a city like this at Christmas? They are never going to remember it, and are only going to make anxious people like myself angry because you're pushing me off of the sidewalk. Needless to say, even after a Belgian Gaufre covered in cherries, chocolate, and whipped cream, I was a little frustrated at the crowds. So Ben, as his usual calm self, pulled us off the main drag and towards the Elysée Palace - where Président Sarkozy lives. We admired his large, gold gate and wondered what him and Carla were eating for dinner. After some calming down and a walk through the other lovebirds on benches and under streetlights, we got in line for the ferris wheel ("La grande roue"). Only up for holidays, I had never ridden it before in all my time spent in France. So we paid our 9€ each like good tourists, hopped in with a French family and an Asian couple and got a panoramic view of the city. 2 spins and you're out!
We then walked towards the decked-out-in-snazzy-Christmas lights Place Vendome and I admired the insane amounts of jewelry in stores such as Chanel, Dior, Cartier etc. as we walked arm and arm in the chilly, but pleasant evening weather. Unsure as to what to do next, Ben suggested that we eat at the restaurant I had discovered on a walk several weeks ago and wanted to try. I had mentioned it looked cozy, romantic and had a decent menu....and so we went. It was indeed cozy, romantic, and off the beaten trail of Saint-André-Des-Arts, and most of the people eating there were French...which is always a good sign. :) I ordered for us and we enjoyed our meal (and one of our few rare dates!) at La Jacobine. During the meal Ben asked me what my favorite spot in the city was, and I really couldn't give a definitive answer, but I said that during my very first trip to Paris with Megan Waters (now Megan Lynch), we walked along the Seine at night and it was one of my favorite Paris memories.
Upon leaving, we held out for dessert at a crêpe stand for Ben and Italian gelato for me, and in between bites of my insanely delicious chocolate sensation I asked, "Now what should we do? Want to ride one of the boats along the Seine?" He hesitated but suggested we walk that direction anyway. We approached the river and came upon Pont Des Arts...a bridge where no cars can cross and people bring food and wine and often have a picnic. We walked about halfway and stood there holding each other for warmth while admiring the river and city of lights. Once a group of tourists had passed and there weren't many people around us he began to tell me a million wonderful things about me and how much he loves me. It was then I realized....it was time. Before I knew it he was on his knee, I was crying, and the Eiffel Tower had begun to sparkle on the hour. A couple of girls who were getting a little tipsy on a bench nearby began to shout and applaud, and I was placing a GORGEOUS ring on my finger. Yes, it was perfect.
I am now a fiancée in Paris, leaving for a trip to Istanbul, Turkey tomorrow, and on August 29, 2009....will be a bride.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Hey, look who got engaged! :)
Me! :) Paris, France. Pont Des Arts. 10PM. As the Eiffel Tower sparkled on the hour. <3
Save the date! - August 29, 2009!
Save the date! - August 29, 2009!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Students are my passion
That's it. I've decided. I'm going to be a teacher. I love it too much. :) I just spent an hour helping some of my favorite students in the library as we changed back and forth between French and English, joked about cultural differences, and found muliple synonyms to help explain words. I was simply "heureuse" as I watched their eyes brighten with curiosity while I explained what certain phrases meant. I'm falling in love with this place and these people, and while my departure is still a long ways off (April) , am going to miss it terribly when I leave.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Learning
Learning how to teach, speak, understand, love, cope, encourage, listen...everything we must be willing to do in our lives if we are to bring joy to others and ultimately find any type of meaning and purpose for our lives.
"No one shall be forgotten who was great in this world; but everyone was great in his own way, and everyone in proportion to the greatness of what he loved." -Kirkegaard, Fear and Trembling
I love my students. I love living in France. I love my boyfriend. I love my family. I love teaching. I love to travel. I love to learn new things. I love listening to my tea kettle boil water as I sit here and type a blog that I know will not come out in complete thoughts; but I hope to be an encouragement and inspiration to all who read this emphasizing that I have certainly not been devoid of challenges, frustrations, tears, misunderstandings, cultural & language problems, distance issues, etc. However, I have found myself in a place that as I come home to my little studio every night gives me the opportunity to absorb everything I've learned and share it with all of you. And while I may fall, disappoint or confuse, am willing to be vulnerable about the realities we are all facing (even more specifically recent university graduates) and the hope we have in a faith and community that are waiting for us to embrace them.
With that said, I suppose you'd like to know what my life looks like at the moment. Well, let me begin with - I'm going to Istanbul, Turkey! That's right, I bought Ben the most fabulous Christmas present ever, a trip for two to Istanbul! We leave the day after Christmas, and will be picked up at the airport by the driver of the Turkish family who runs a hostel with a view of the ocean and the Hagia Sophia. I kid you not! Needless to say, not only am I excited to see him in 23 days, but I am excited to see a part of the world I never thought I'd get to experience!
My day to day life in the city is busy, somewhat routine, but always different. I teach 12 hours a week with a one-hour commute on the metro, babysit 15 hours a week, and in my spare time go to the movies, talk to Ben on Skype, read, and waste time watching Gilmore Girls episodes. My classes are finally somewhat routine, and most of them I get on my own in my very own classroom. I have some of the friendliest, frustrating, hilarious, and all around decent students at lycée Gustave Eiffel. With a high school of mostly boys I've found myself quite popular. There isn't a day that goes by where someone in the hallway doesn't shout "Madame! Good afternoon! 'ello! 'ow are you?" It's quite touching and makes up for the annoying ones that chatter the whole time when I'm trying to speak (even when I reprimand them in French.)
Babysitting is great and this evening Juliette told me that I am the best "nounou" (nanny) in the world, and the nicest American as well. I'm pretty sure she hasn't met that many Americans, but what the heck, who can complain about love and kisses from an adorable little 4-year-old French girl? I'm so glad to have the opportunity to make extra money, speak French and befriend a little girl who I hope will not forget me when she gets older.
Christmas is coming! I can see it everywhere in this commercial & historical place I currently call home. The lights are on, the markets are starting, and the kids choir is singing in church! Just when I think I don't know very many people here I am blessed with an introduction by a British woman with whom I've been sitting in the same pew for several weeks now. She and her husband (who sings in the choir) are expecting their first baby and were very kind to stay after and chat with me. Little blessings this this do not go unappreciated here.
Well, I'll close for now; I wish I could transport you all here to experience my life in Paris instead of just read about it, mais, je vous souhaite une bonne semaine et une joyeux Thanksgiving! Keep me in your prayers as I will keep you in mine. *gros bisous*
"No one shall be forgotten who was great in this world; but everyone was great in his own way, and everyone in proportion to the greatness of what he loved." -Kirkegaard, Fear and Trembling
I love my students. I love living in France. I love my boyfriend. I love my family. I love teaching. I love to travel. I love to learn new things. I love listening to my tea kettle boil water as I sit here and type a blog that I know will not come out in complete thoughts; but I hope to be an encouragement and inspiration to all who read this emphasizing that I have certainly not been devoid of challenges, frustrations, tears, misunderstandings, cultural & language problems, distance issues, etc. However, I have found myself in a place that as I come home to my little studio every night gives me the opportunity to absorb everything I've learned and share it with all of you. And while I may fall, disappoint or confuse, am willing to be vulnerable about the realities we are all facing (even more specifically recent university graduates) and the hope we have in a faith and community that are waiting for us to embrace them.
With that said, I suppose you'd like to know what my life looks like at the moment. Well, let me begin with - I'm going to Istanbul, Turkey! That's right, I bought Ben the most fabulous Christmas present ever, a trip for two to Istanbul! We leave the day after Christmas, and will be picked up at the airport by the driver of the Turkish family who runs a hostel with a view of the ocean and the Hagia Sophia. I kid you not! Needless to say, not only am I excited to see him in 23 days, but I am excited to see a part of the world I never thought I'd get to experience!
My day to day life in the city is busy, somewhat routine, but always different. I teach 12 hours a week with a one-hour commute on the metro, babysit 15 hours a week, and in my spare time go to the movies, talk to Ben on Skype, read, and waste time watching Gilmore Girls episodes. My classes are finally somewhat routine, and most of them I get on my own in my very own classroom. I have some of the friendliest, frustrating, hilarious, and all around decent students at lycée Gustave Eiffel. With a high school of mostly boys I've found myself quite popular. There isn't a day that goes by where someone in the hallway doesn't shout "Madame! Good afternoon! 'ello! 'ow are you?" It's quite touching and makes up for the annoying ones that chatter the whole time when I'm trying to speak (even when I reprimand them in French.)
Babysitting is great and this evening Juliette told me that I am the best "nounou" (nanny) in the world, and the nicest American as well. I'm pretty sure she hasn't met that many Americans, but what the heck, who can complain about love and kisses from an adorable little 4-year-old French girl? I'm so glad to have the opportunity to make extra money, speak French and befriend a little girl who I hope will not forget me when she gets older.
Christmas is coming! I can see it everywhere in this commercial & historical place I currently call home. The lights are on, the markets are starting, and the kids choir is singing in church! Just when I think I don't know very many people here I am blessed with an introduction by a British woman with whom I've been sitting in the same pew for several weeks now. She and her husband (who sings in the choir) are expecting their first baby and were very kind to stay after and chat with me. Little blessings this this do not go unappreciated here.
Well, I'll close for now; I wish I could transport you all here to experience my life in Paris instead of just read about it, mais, je vous souhaite une bonne semaine et une joyeux Thanksgiving! Keep me in your prayers as I will keep you in mine. *gros bisous*
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Je suis tellement contente
It's true. I am blessed beyond measure and couldn't be more excited about life. I have been blessed with new friends, gotten together with old ones, was taken out to lunch on Sunday by a family in the beautiful and welcoming church I now attend (www.americancathedral.org), and while distance is hard, makes the planning for a special Christmas visit (aka BEN IS COMING) all the more fun! My life here in the city is truly unique, and I only hope that as I trust God to take care of the little stresses, will benefit in great measure by this experience. I love the students (even though I find myself speaking very clearly for the rest of the day since they don't understand much), the teachers are super excited to have me at the school, I begin babysitting on Monday, am going to a fashion exposition on Friday, and had a day off today to meet a friend I haven't seen since I was here in December! Truly....truly blessed. If one feels lonely, one only needs to take the steps needed to jump back into society, give of yourself and your time, and the rewards of friendship and blessings will indeed come. It's exactly what I need right now, and while I'm going to get busier starting next week, am ready to run around the city like the resident I have become! A bientôt!
A walk in the bois de bologne
Nutella and chocolate ice cream! :)
A walk in the bois de bologne
Nutella and chocolate ice cream! :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Résidente Parisienne
I lead a fascinating life.
Let's begin, shall we?
The toaster oven ticks the 25 minutes away for the quiche I placed inside for dinner as TV1 plays a French film in the background here in my studio on the 6th floor of an historic building in the 16th arrondissement. My legs are becoming stronger and my mind is expanding as I cross the street to peek at the arc de Triumph on my way to catch the metro in the morning. Now granted, this is my 4th voyage to Paris, but I find a new kind of reality to the city as it literally becomes mine in the "new Paris resident" type of way.
What it takes to become a resident of France and how to avoid crying over French beurocracy (with bizarre stories interwoven) -
1. Problem: Get from the Charles de Gaulle airport for under 20 euros. Solution: Take the Air France bus and speak English to your friendly Australian neighbor who helps you with your suitcases up 6 flights of stairs.
2. Problem: Get a bank account in order to receive a salary that might not even come until the end of NOVEMBER. Solution: Go to HSBC where the very enthusiastic banker works, fill out an entire tree's worth of paperwork for over an hour, and realize that you have yet several hoops to jump through to prove your place of residence and be 100% in the system.
3. Problem: Find the high school in which you are assigned to teach English. Solution: Take the PROPER metro train that stops at Bagneux, listen to the announcement over the loud speaker that says GET OFF, SANS VOYAGEURS and wait for the next. DO NOT stay on the wrong train, bang on the windows yelling "'ello??? 'ello??", and pull the emergency lever so the conductor can walk you along the tracks to the next station where you can back track to where you need to go.
Once I got to the high school I was met by very friendly French office workers who then guided me to the professors lounge where I met 5 even more friendly English teachers, got a tour of the place where I can take out French books to read in the library (!), received a little professors mailbox, learned that I might not get any paycheck at all until the end of November, and joined a class of 25 teenage boys for a question and answer session to practice their English. Number one question asked, (with accent in tow), "Do you have a boyfriend?" Response, "Yes, he is in the United States." "Merde." *haha*
4. Problem: Find extra jobs in the city to make up for the minimal salary the embassy pays language assistants. Solution: Land a babysitting job and have a chance rendez-vous with a girl who posted a need for an English tutor online. I'll most likely begin the daily babysitting job in a week and a half for a little 6 year old girl named Juliette whom my Paris roommate Isabel watched all last year. Regarding the English tutoring, I ended up chatting it up with my new Saudi friend Abeer who is studying psychology at the American University, speaks English, French, and Arabic and wants me to help her with her research papers in order to learn how to write properly. Karen, all of your Writing Center sessions are coming in handy right now!! :) And Dr. J, all of your endless research updates are helping me explain to her how to effectively summarize articles she has read! I thank you both for your knowledge and challenge to my learning.
The first couple of days of this new adventure were hard. I cried a lot and asked myself why I was here for seven long months, but my dear friend Cassie who traveled with me stuck through it all, gave me a hug when one was needed, and was (and still is) with me as we tackled French paperwork, confusion, disorganization, and the continued process we need to get our 'carte de sejour' in order to be legal in the country. Being that we are flat broke, we enjoyed the city and the weather that was granted us in the first few days, and complained, laughed, and admired together...life in Paris...as residents.
What does life in Paris as a resident really look like? Here's a story with which to close my entry:
We were standing on the bus on our way to another quarter of the city when we noticed an elderly woman speaking with a blind man who had to have been at least 75 years old. She needed to get off at the next stop, but she tapped the shoulder of a middle-aged man who got on with his wife and daughter and explained that the blind man needed off in two stops and could he please tell him when to get off and assist him in the process. He wholeheartedly agreed and sat across from the man until his stop. Now, not only did he help him off of the bus when he needed off, but he kept walking with him on the sidewalk and asked where he was going...all the while arm in arm with the hunched-over little man wearing a tattered hat and gripping a walking cane. The younger man's smile, caring attitude, and lack of concern for his own personal affairs put me in a state of awe and gave me some insight into the surprising compassion of the French public, their concern for the elderly, and the reality of their humanity that I am excited to dive into for the next seven months...as a resident.
Let's begin, shall we?
The toaster oven ticks the 25 minutes away for the quiche I placed inside for dinner as TV1 plays a French film in the background here in my studio on the 6th floor of an historic building in the 16th arrondissement. My legs are becoming stronger and my mind is expanding as I cross the street to peek at the arc de Triumph on my way to catch the metro in the morning. Now granted, this is my 4th voyage to Paris, but I find a new kind of reality to the city as it literally becomes mine in the "new Paris resident" type of way.
What it takes to become a resident of France and how to avoid crying over French beurocracy (with bizarre stories interwoven) -
1. Problem: Get from the Charles de Gaulle airport for under 20 euros. Solution: Take the Air France bus and speak English to your friendly Australian neighbor who helps you with your suitcases up 6 flights of stairs.
2. Problem: Get a bank account in order to receive a salary that might not even come until the end of NOVEMBER. Solution: Go to HSBC where the very enthusiastic banker works, fill out an entire tree's worth of paperwork for over an hour, and realize that you have yet several hoops to jump through to prove your place of residence and be 100% in the system.
3. Problem: Find the high school in which you are assigned to teach English. Solution: Take the PROPER metro train that stops at Bagneux, listen to the announcement over the loud speaker that says GET OFF, SANS VOYAGEURS and wait for the next. DO NOT stay on the wrong train, bang on the windows yelling "'ello??? 'ello??", and pull the emergency lever so the conductor can walk you along the tracks to the next station where you can back track to where you need to go.
Once I got to the high school I was met by very friendly French office workers who then guided me to the professors lounge where I met 5 even more friendly English teachers, got a tour of the place where I can take out French books to read in the library (!), received a little professors mailbox, learned that I might not get any paycheck at all until the end of November, and joined a class of 25 teenage boys for a question and answer session to practice their English. Number one question asked, (with accent in tow), "Do you have a boyfriend?" Response, "Yes, he is in the United States." "Merde." *haha*
4. Problem: Find extra jobs in the city to make up for the minimal salary the embassy pays language assistants. Solution: Land a babysitting job and have a chance rendez-vous with a girl who posted a need for an English tutor online. I'll most likely begin the daily babysitting job in a week and a half for a little 6 year old girl named Juliette whom my Paris roommate Isabel watched all last year. Regarding the English tutoring, I ended up chatting it up with my new Saudi friend Abeer who is studying psychology at the American University, speaks English, French, and Arabic and wants me to help her with her research papers in order to learn how to write properly. Karen, all of your Writing Center sessions are coming in handy right now!! :) And Dr. J, all of your endless research updates are helping me explain to her how to effectively summarize articles she has read! I thank you both for your knowledge and challenge to my learning.
The first couple of days of this new adventure were hard. I cried a lot and asked myself why I was here for seven long months, but my dear friend Cassie who traveled with me stuck through it all, gave me a hug when one was needed, and was (and still is) with me as we tackled French paperwork, confusion, disorganization, and the continued process we need to get our 'carte de sejour' in order to be legal in the country. Being that we are flat broke, we enjoyed the city and the weather that was granted us in the first few days, and complained, laughed, and admired together...life in Paris...as residents.
What does life in Paris as a resident really look like? Here's a story with which to close my entry:
We were standing on the bus on our way to another quarter of the city when we noticed an elderly woman speaking with a blind man who had to have been at least 75 years old. She needed to get off at the next stop, but she tapped the shoulder of a middle-aged man who got on with his wife and daughter and explained that the blind man needed off in two stops and could he please tell him when to get off and assist him in the process. He wholeheartedly agreed and sat across from the man until his stop. Now, not only did he help him off of the bus when he needed off, but he kept walking with him on the sidewalk and asked where he was going...all the while arm in arm with the hunched-over little man wearing a tattered hat and gripping a walking cane. The younger man's smile, caring attitude, and lack of concern for his own personal affairs put me in a state of awe and gave me some insight into the surprising compassion of the French public, their concern for the elderly, and the reality of their humanity that I am excited to dive into for the next seven months...as a resident.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Paris, chez moi encore...
Bonjour tout le monde!
It's been 5 days since I arrived, but I want to sit down and update everyone with a fabulous first entry into my life, emotions, stories, frustrations, and 6 story move-in back to the city, but I'm going to have more time to write in the next couple of days, so keep checking back! For now, I'd love to hear from you either by internet or postal mail, so here is the address:
Mallory Fisher
9 rue Chalgrin
75016 Paris FRANCE
It will be good for 7 months, so please keep in touch!
A très bientôt, Mallory
It's been 5 days since I arrived, but I want to sit down and update everyone with a fabulous first entry into my life, emotions, stories, frustrations, and 6 story move-in back to the city, but I'm going to have more time to write in the next couple of days, so keep checking back! For now, I'd love to hear from you either by internet or postal mail, so here is the address:
Mallory Fisher
9 rue Chalgrin
75016 Paris FRANCE
It will be good for 7 months, so please keep in touch!
A très bientôt, Mallory
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
"Live the dream, potato."
Since my last post, I have managed to visit my lovely Paris roommate Isabel in Mexico, celebrate the wedding of two of my favorite people - Nathan and Jenna Washatka, travel to Boston to take Jill to college (see Isabel again and go to the beach with Aunt Beth, Uncle Mike and Anna!) and spend the longest period of time with Ben that I have since we started dating.....5 days. My days are flying by as I prepare for the next adventure in my life - moving to Paris to teach English for 7 months! The voyage begins on September 24 and while stresses have been realities, things have slowly fallen into place and I know this is where I am to be. Look for more stories from abroad as I voyage across the sea to my favorite city....Paris!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Keeping up with a blog...difficult
Bonjour tout le monde!!
So I'm back on blogspot, a little sad I didn't write publicly while I continued with my adventures in France, but happy to be able to share in pictures, emails, phone calls, and rendez-vous' what I was up to these past six weeks.
I read online once that Charlize Theron was discovered while throwing a fit in an LA bank because they wouldn't give her any money. If someone would have witnessed the fit I threw in French in the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris the day I was supposed to leave, I know that I could have the chance at the next Oscar. ;) I missed my flight home. Plain and simple. Went to the wrong airport and paid a taxi driver over 100 euro to get me to the gate that closed 10 minutes before I arrived. You live and learn, really. I was able to catch the flight the next day, and was given a little 11-year-old angel to keep up with my crying and running around as we sorted through life and tried to enjoy one last day in my favorite city. :)
I'm home again, spent the weekend with Ben after not seeing him for seven weeks, and couldn't be more blessed with the man who is there waiting for me to return every time I cross the ocean. I'm leaving for Mexico City on Thursday to visit Isabel (old Paris roommate), and while I am SUPER excited, I'm just hoping I don't catch a parasite and end up in the toilet for a week. Keep checking the site, as I will try to update as well as I can. This life of mine continues to stay interesting as I travel the world, see new things, learn about myself and other people, and encounter new challenges and adventures. (Ride in a helicopter, crash a moped, learn to drive a stick, and eat snails for starters....)
Keep in touch, see new things, and try something new!! A la prochaine!
...and why not enjoy a pic of my man and I while you're at it? ;)
So I'm back on blogspot, a little sad I didn't write publicly while I continued with my adventures in France, but happy to be able to share in pictures, emails, phone calls, and rendez-vous' what I was up to these past six weeks.
I read online once that Charlize Theron was discovered while throwing a fit in an LA bank because they wouldn't give her any money. If someone would have witnessed the fit I threw in French in the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris the day I was supposed to leave, I know that I could have the chance at the next Oscar. ;) I missed my flight home. Plain and simple. Went to the wrong airport and paid a taxi driver over 100 euro to get me to the gate that closed 10 minutes before I arrived. You live and learn, really. I was able to catch the flight the next day, and was given a little 11-year-old angel to keep up with my crying and running around as we sorted through life and tried to enjoy one last day in my favorite city. :)
I'm home again, spent the weekend with Ben after not seeing him for seven weeks, and couldn't be more blessed with the man who is there waiting for me to return every time I cross the ocean. I'm leaving for Mexico City on Thursday to visit Isabel (old Paris roommate), and while I am SUPER excited, I'm just hoping I don't catch a parasite and end up in the toilet for a week. Keep checking the site, as I will try to update as well as I can. This life of mine continues to stay interesting as I travel the world, see new things, learn about myself and other people, and encounter new challenges and adventures. (Ride in a helicopter, crash a moped, learn to drive a stick, and eat snails for starters....)
Keep in touch, see new things, and try something new!! A la prochaine!
...and why not enjoy a pic of my man and I while you're at it? ;)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. -St. Augustine
I'm sipping on coffee and savoring a pain chocolat with a view of the Mediterranean as I type this. What was once a place I lusted after on the Travel Channel is now a reality as the sun warms my body and the sounds warm my soul. The faint echo of the waves, the distant boats leaving their harbors, the polite clang of a dish from the chef in the kitchen, and the crickets just begging me to leave this covered spot and soak in some sun make me one happy nanny. We flew in to Nice and then took a helicopter to our current destination a bit away from the city of St. Tropez. One of the most fascinating things about being in this new place is that when I gaze across the water I know that Algeria is only a few hundred kilometers away, and I marvel at the places I get to see....and where I still want to go.
I squealed when I stepped off the plane just one week ago. I was back in Paris and it felt better than ever. I really think that I could call this city my home and with a newfound confidence in the French language (I've had employees in boulangeries tell me my French is really good!) could plant myself back in the most beautiful and historic city in which I've ever lived. I love when no one can guess that I'm American and it makes me even more anxious to hear about my exact location outside of Paris for when I begin teaching in the fall.
I'm going to sign off for now, but it feels good to update all of you. I hope you are able to share in my joy as I marvel each day at the blessings given to me in a summer that was uncertain just a few short months ago. If I can encourage anyone to do one thing, it would be to travel. Save your money, buy a flight to that place you've always read about, stay in a cheap hostel...and go. There is so much around us to experience, and whether it's a bustling city, a calm sea, or an indigenous tribal region, you know your life will be enriched for having gone.
A few pictures for your enjoyment:
I squealed when I stepped off the plane just one week ago. I was back in Paris and it felt better than ever. I really think that I could call this city my home and with a newfound confidence in the French language (I've had employees in boulangeries tell me my French is really good!) could plant myself back in the most beautiful and historic city in which I've ever lived. I love when no one can guess that I'm American and it makes me even more anxious to hear about my exact location outside of Paris for when I begin teaching in the fall.
I'm going to sign off for now, but it feels good to update all of you. I hope you are able to share in my joy as I marvel each day at the blessings given to me in a summer that was uncertain just a few short months ago. If I can encourage anyone to do one thing, it would be to travel. Save your money, buy a flight to that place you've always read about, stay in a cheap hostel...and go. There is so much around us to experience, and whether it's a bustling city, a calm sea, or an indigenous tribal region, you know your life will be enriched for having gone.
A few pictures for your enjoyment:
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Crossing the border
Recognize this?
Or this?
The first is a Norman Rockwell, and the second...well, you really should know that it's the Lincoln Memorial. Regardless, these two represent the afternoon jaunt I had planned to Connecticut's next door neighbor...Massachusetts. Thirty minutes from here are the Norman Rockwell and Chesterwood museums and I had planned on taking the Hummer and making an afternoon of it. I'm here by myself as the family celebrates the grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary, so with some cash and a gas-guzzling vehicle my day was set. It started out as a beautiful summer morning hitting 90 degrees and beckoning me to soak in the sun...so I did. After I acquired a new tan in preparation for the Mediterranean (I'll never get tired of saying that), I got myself ready to go and turned on the top 40 station as I took the Hummer across the border into Massachusetts. Clouds were beginning to form part way through my journey but it didn't look too ominous, so I continued on my merry way.
My merry way indeed.
As soon as I got 2 MILES from the museums...the storm began. Lightning struck in front of me and rain began to pour harder than my wipers could keep up with. I even pulled into the Rockwell Museum's parking lot but was too afraid that the typhoon of the century was upon me and that the windows I left open on the third floor of the house were gushing with water onto my precious laptop. Almost an hour later I finally made it home, dodged a fallen telephone wire and tree branches and sit here inside the mansion with the windows open to the sound of birds chirping. Yeah. Apparently the storm is over now. Alas, I can say I ventured into a new state and almost went to the Norman Rockwell museum. And now I find myself ready to curl up with my latest purchase, "Crime and Punishment" and enjoy the solitude of this huge place......and then call Ben when I get scared after it gets dark. :)
The library...go ahead and salivate all you bookworms out there:
We leave for Paris in 5 days! I went to Maya's school graduation yesterday and sweat bullets in the heat as I watched all of the little prep school students accept their awards, sing songs, and smile for their proud parents. It was actually really fun to be there. We're all hitting it off great, and I can't wait to head overseas and experience France in a way I never have before!! A la prochaine!
Or this?
The first is a Norman Rockwell, and the second...well, you really should know that it's the Lincoln Memorial. Regardless, these two represent the afternoon jaunt I had planned to Connecticut's next door neighbor...Massachusetts. Thirty minutes from here are the Norman Rockwell and Chesterwood museums and I had planned on taking the Hummer and making an afternoon of it. I'm here by myself as the family celebrates the grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary, so with some cash and a gas-guzzling vehicle my day was set. It started out as a beautiful summer morning hitting 90 degrees and beckoning me to soak in the sun...so I did. After I acquired a new tan in preparation for the Mediterranean (I'll never get tired of saying that), I got myself ready to go and turned on the top 40 station as I took the Hummer across the border into Massachusetts. Clouds were beginning to form part way through my journey but it didn't look too ominous, so I continued on my merry way.
My merry way indeed.
As soon as I got 2 MILES from the museums...the storm began. Lightning struck in front of me and rain began to pour harder than my wipers could keep up with. I even pulled into the Rockwell Museum's parking lot but was too afraid that the typhoon of the century was upon me and that the windows I left open on the third floor of the house were gushing with water onto my precious laptop. Almost an hour later I finally made it home, dodged a fallen telephone wire and tree branches and sit here inside the mansion with the windows open to the sound of birds chirping. Yeah. Apparently the storm is over now. Alas, I can say I ventured into a new state and almost went to the Norman Rockwell museum. And now I find myself ready to curl up with my latest purchase, "Crime and Punishment" and enjoy the solitude of this huge place......and then call Ben when I get scared after it gets dark. :)
The library...go ahead and salivate all you bookworms out there:
We leave for Paris in 5 days! I went to Maya's school graduation yesterday and sweat bullets in the heat as I watched all of the little prep school students accept their awards, sing songs, and smile for their proud parents. It was actually really fun to be there. We're all hitting it off great, and I can't wait to head overseas and experience France in a way I never have before!! A la prochaine!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Chick flick reality
If you've seen the cheesy and yet oh so fabulous chick flick "The Holiday", then you'll remember the point in which Kate Winslet walks into the Hollywood mansion of Cameron Diaz only to run around giggling and dancing about at how huge and fabulous it all is.
I'm Kate Winslet, and this is my mansion.
I arrived in Hartford at 1:00 this afternoon to be picked up by Carol, the girlfriend of Maya's father (who I will be an au pair for here in CT for 2 weeks and then in France for a month). We had a lovely chat about family quirks and the town, picked up the dry cleaning and headed home. Home = a completely restored 3-story house on a private drive. Did I mention I'll be driving the Hummer while I'm here?
Not only is the house one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, it boasts art gallery paintings, ancient sculptures, and my living space....a bedroom, 2 bathrooms, and a sitting area with a complete wall-to-wall window view of the back yard/woods. Now don't get a decor of modern and cold in your mind, this house is far from that. In fact, it's one of the homiest mansions I've ever been inside. We picked up Maya from school (she has a little attitude, but I saw through it right away and worked my nanny magic.....meaning, she loves me *grin*) and am going to leave at 7:30 tomorrow morning to cheer her on at her track meet. The private school feels like Harry Potter and the little boys in their suits should be whipping out their wands in a moments notice.
Well, I'm exhausted from getting up at 5:00 this morning, so I'll sign off for now, a la prochaine!
I'm Kate Winslet, and this is my mansion.
I arrived in Hartford at 1:00 this afternoon to be picked up by Carol, the girlfriend of Maya's father (who I will be an au pair for here in CT for 2 weeks and then in France for a month). We had a lovely chat about family quirks and the town, picked up the dry cleaning and headed home. Home = a completely restored 3-story house on a private drive. Did I mention I'll be driving the Hummer while I'm here?
Not only is the house one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, it boasts art gallery paintings, ancient sculptures, and my living space....a bedroom, 2 bathrooms, and a sitting area with a complete wall-to-wall window view of the back yard/woods. Now don't get a decor of modern and cold in your mind, this house is far from that. In fact, it's one of the homiest mansions I've ever been inside. We picked up Maya from school (she has a little attitude, but I saw through it right away and worked my nanny magic.....meaning, she loves me *grin*) and am going to leave at 7:30 tomorrow morning to cheer her on at her track meet. The private school feels like Harry Potter and the little boys in their suits should be whipping out their wands in a moments notice.
Well, I'm exhausted from getting up at 5:00 this morning, so I'll sign off for now, a la prochaine!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Au pair!
How many people can boast of a job that houses them on the third floor of a mansion in Connecticut, a hotel in Paris, a hotel in St. Tropez, and the opportunity to communicate in a foreign language while taking care of two eleven-year-old girls?
This is my job. *insert shouting, dancing and clapping here*
I will be leaving on Friday to spend two weeks in Connecticut where I will begin my job as a nanny for a little girl and her friend. We will then leave with the one's family to vacation in France for a month. That's right everyone...I'm going back! I'm looking forward to keeping up with this blog and documenting my adventures (including photos), and I hope you will enjoy them as well.
The diaries won't end there, however. When I get back I shall be traveling to Mexico where I will spend a week with Isabel, my roommate from last semester in Paris. Following that, I will then part for France one more time and land myself in Créteil where I will be teaching English at a French school from October to April. It looks like there's a lot in store for my life over the next several months, and I am looking forward with anticipation, sadness at having to leave the one I love, and yet determination to experience every moment to its fullest.
In the words of Miranda July as she writes about the escaping dog named Potato in the 21st edition of McSweeny's...."Live the dream Potato! Live the dream."
This is my job. *insert shouting, dancing and clapping here*
I will be leaving on Friday to spend two weeks in Connecticut where I will begin my job as a nanny for a little girl and her friend. We will then leave with the one's family to vacation in France for a month. That's right everyone...I'm going back! I'm looking forward to keeping up with this blog and documenting my adventures (including photos), and I hope you will enjoy them as well.
The diaries won't end there, however. When I get back I shall be traveling to Mexico where I will spend a week with Isabel, my roommate from last semester in Paris. Following that, I will then part for France one more time and land myself in Créteil where I will be teaching English at a French school from October to April. It looks like there's a lot in store for my life over the next several months, and I am looking forward with anticipation, sadness at having to leave the one I love, and yet determination to experience every moment to its fullest.
In the words of Miranda July as she writes about the escaping dog named Potato in the 21st edition of McSweeny's...."Live the dream Potato! Live the dream."
Sunday, May 4, 2008
C'est super! :)
"Life comes at you fast." Says the Nationwide auto insurance company commercial.
Yes...yes it does.
Today, May 4, 2008 finds my life no where near where I would have projected it to be when I began college as a little naïve freshman 4 years ago. In fact, if you told me then that by now that I'd -
1) Have studied in 2 different countries
2) Learned French
3) Graduated with a degree in Political Science
4) Landed a job as a nanny for a family vacationing in France
5) Start a relationship one week before I graduate
6) Buy a plane ticket to visit a friend in Mexico City
7) Be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding
8) Get accepted to teach English in Créteil, France for 7 months
9) Leave tonight for a family vacation in California
I'd probably have fainted by number 4.
Life comes at you fast...enjoy it, give credit for it, and soak in every blessing you are given along the way. :) A bientôt!
Yes...yes it does.
Today, May 4, 2008 finds my life no where near where I would have projected it to be when I began college as a little naïve freshman 4 years ago. In fact, if you told me then that by now that I'd -
1) Have studied in 2 different countries
2) Learned French
3) Graduated with a degree in Political Science
4) Landed a job as a nanny for a family vacationing in France
5) Start a relationship one week before I graduate
6) Buy a plane ticket to visit a friend in Mexico City
7) Be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding
8) Get accepted to teach English in Créteil, France for 7 months
9) Leave tonight for a family vacation in California
I'd probably have fainted by number 4.
Life comes at you fast...enjoy it, give credit for it, and soak in every blessing you are given along the way. :) A bientôt!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Le voyage ou communauté? Il faut choisir?
Senior research is a bitch.
With that said, I am still continually mastering a topic that I had only witnessed in my coming and going while living among the French in both Tours and Paris. Human mobility and cultural identity stretches beyond immigration, in fact, we as Americans seem to face a different kind of identity crisis that can be seen in every stage of life. For myself, with 20 days left of university life and the possibilities of more European travel in the very near future, I am faced with an odd sense of rebelling against my constant desire to be mobile, to pick up and head somewhere new, meet new people, taste new food, to see the sunset from a different mountaintop.
While these are all still very real desires, they are met with the realization that a life of constant mobility is not necessarily a life most rewarding. I'm being challenged with the idea of community, realizing its importance for an individual and how best to embrace the conflict between stability and mobility. Upward mobility--or better, a lack of--is what caused the immigrants in France to riot in 2005. They were given no opportunity to ameliorate their lives in a culture that refused to assimilate the diversity that immigrants brought with them and their families.
Will I have a family someday that I will want to integrate into a community of people? Maybe. Should I be thinking about this possibility now as I pursue my individual aspirations and desires (selfish and unselfish?). Four months ago I would have said no. But today I say yes. I'm going to miss the community of my two best friends here in this apartment on Church Street in Cedarville, Ohio, and it seems that throughout my college experience (exceptionally enhanced by two study-abroad experiences) I have created little communities around the world, but have had to leave them as soon as close bonds were made.
Think about community, memory, and passion as you read the following poem I find exceptionally challenging, erotic, and in its own sense sentimental (and if you so desire, I've included it in the original French following the English translation):
The Voyage
This fire burns our brains so fiercely, we wish to plunge
To the abyss' depths, Heaven or Hell, does it matter?
To the depths of the Unknown to find something new!"
Le Voyage (in the original French)
Nous voulons, tant ce feu nous brûle le cerveau,
Plonger au fond du gouffre, Enfer ou Ciel, qu'importe?
Au fond de l'Inconnu pour trouver du nouveau!
With that said, I am still continually mastering a topic that I had only witnessed in my coming and going while living among the French in both Tours and Paris. Human mobility and cultural identity stretches beyond immigration, in fact, we as Americans seem to face a different kind of identity crisis that can be seen in every stage of life. For myself, with 20 days left of university life and the possibilities of more European travel in the very near future, I am faced with an odd sense of rebelling against my constant desire to be mobile, to pick up and head somewhere new, meet new people, taste new food, to see the sunset from a different mountaintop.
While these are all still very real desires, they are met with the realization that a life of constant mobility is not necessarily a life most rewarding. I'm being challenged with the idea of community, realizing its importance for an individual and how best to embrace the conflict between stability and mobility. Upward mobility--or better, a lack of--is what caused the immigrants in France to riot in 2005. They were given no opportunity to ameliorate their lives in a culture that refused to assimilate the diversity that immigrants brought with them and their families.
Will I have a family someday that I will want to integrate into a community of people? Maybe. Should I be thinking about this possibility now as I pursue my individual aspirations and desires (selfish and unselfish?). Four months ago I would have said no. But today I say yes. I'm going to miss the community of my two best friends here in this apartment on Church Street in Cedarville, Ohio, and it seems that throughout my college experience (exceptionally enhanced by two study-abroad experiences) I have created little communities around the world, but have had to leave them as soon as close bonds were made.
Think about community, memory, and passion as you read the following poem I find exceptionally challenging, erotic, and in its own sense sentimental (and if you so desire, I've included it in the original French following the English translation):
The Voyage
-Charles Baudelaire
To a child who is fond of maps and engravings
The universe is the size of his immense hunger.
Ah! how vast is the world in the light of a lamp!
In memory's eyes how small the world is!
One morning we set out, our brains aflame,
Our hearts full of resentment and bitter desires,
And we go, following the rhythm of the wave,
Lulling our infinite on the finite of the seas:
Some, joyful at fleeing a wretched fatherland;
Others, the horror of their birthplace; a few,
Astrologers drowned in the eyes of some woman,
Some tyrannic Circe with dangerous perfumes.
Not to be changed into beasts, they get drunk
With space, with light, and with fiery skies;
The ice that bites them, the suns that bronze them,
Slowly efface the bruise of the kisses.
But the true voyagers are only those who leave
Just to be leaving; hearts light, like balloons,
They never turn aside from their fatality
And without knowing why they always say: "Let's go!"
Those whose desires have the form of the clouds,
And who, as a raw recruit dreams of the cannon,
Dream of vast voluptuousness, changing and strange,
Whose name the human mind has never known!
II
Horror! We imitate the top and bowling ball,
Their bounding and their waltz; even in our slumber
Curiosity torments us, rolls us about,
Like a cruel Angel who lashes suns.
Singular destiny where the goal moves about,
And being nowhere can be anywhere!
Toward which Man, whose hope never grows weary,
Is ever running like a madman to find rest!
Our soul's a three-master seeking Icaria;
A voice resounds upon the bridge: "Keep a sharp eye!"
From aloft a voice, ardent and wild, cries:
"Love... glory... happiness!" –Damnation! It's a shoal!
Every small island sighted by the man on watch
Is the Eldorado promised by Destiny;
Imagination preparing for her orgy
Finds but a reef in the light of the dawn.
O the poor lover of imaginary lands!
Must he be put in irons, thrown into the sea,
That drunken tar, inventor of Americas,
Whose mirage makes the abyss more bitter?
Thus the old vagabond tramping through the mire
Dreams with his nose in the air of brilliant Edens;
His enchanted eye discovers a Capua
Wherever a candle lights up a hut.
III
Astonishing voyagers! What splendid stories
We read in your eyes as deep as the seas!
Show us the chest of your rich memories,
Those marvelous jewels, made of ether and stars.
We wish to voyage without steam and without sails!
To brighten the ennui of our prisons,
Make your memories, framed in their horizons,
Pass across our minds stretched like canvasses.
Tell us what you have seen.
IV
"We have seen stars
And waves; we have also seen sandy wastes;
And in spite of many a shock and unforeseen
Disaster, we were often bored, as we are here.
The glory of sunlight upon the purple sea,
The glory of cities against the setting sun,
Kindled in our hearts a troubling desire
To plunge into a sky of alluring colors.
The richest cities, the finest landscapes,
Never contained the mysterious attraction
Of the ones that chance fashions from the clouds
And desire was always making us more avid!
— Enjoyment fortifies desire.
Desire, old tree fertilized by pleasure,
While your bark grows thick and hardens,
Your branches strive to get closer to the sun!
Will you always grow, tall tree more hardy
Than the cypress? — However, we have carefully
Gathered a few sketches for your greedy album,
Brothers who think lovely all that comes from afar!
We have bowed to idols with elephantine trunks;
Thrones studded with luminous jewels;
Palaces so wrought that their fairly-like splendor
Would make your bankers have dreams of ruination;
And costumes that intoxicate the eyes;
Women whose teeth and fingernails are dyed
And clever mountebanks whom the snake caresses."
V
And then, and then what else?
VI
"O childish minds!
Not to forget the most important thing,
We saw everywhere, without seeking it,
From the foot to the top of the fatal ladder,
The wearisome spectacle of immortal sin:
Woman, a base slave, haughty and stupid,
Adoring herself without laughter or disgust;
Man, a greedy tyrant, ribald, hard and grasping,
A slave of the slave, a gutter in the sewer;
The hangman who feels joy and the martyr who sobs,
The festival that blood flavors and perfumes;
The poison of power making the despot weak,
And the people loving the brutalizing whip;
Several religions similar to our own,
All climbing up to heaven; Saintliness
Like a dilettante who sprawls in a feather bed,
Seeking voluptuousness on horsehair and nails;
Prating humanity, drunken with its genius,
And mad now as it was in former times,
Crying to God in its furious death-struggle:
'O my fellow, O my master, may you be damned!'
The less foolish, bold lovers of Madness,
Fleeing the great flock that Destiny has folded,
Taking refuge in opium's immensity!
— That's the unchanging report of the entire globe."
VII
Bitter is the knowledge one gains from voyaging!
The world, monotonous and small, today,
Yesterday, tomorrow, always, shows us our image:
An oasis of horror in a desert of ennui!
Must one depart? Remain? If you can stay, remain;
Leave, if you must. One runs, another hides
To elude the vigilant, fatal enemy,
Time! There are, alas! those who rove without respite,
Like the Wandering Jew and like the Apostles,
Whom nothing suffices, neither coach nor vessel,
To flee this infamous retiary; and others
Who know how to kill him without leaving their cribs.
And when at last he sets his foot upon our spine,
We can hope and cry out: Forward!
Just as in other times we set out for China,
Our eyes fixed on the open sea, hair in the wind,
We shall embark on the sea of Darkness
With the glad heart of a young traveler.
Do you hear those charming, melancholy voices
Singing: "Come this way! You who wish to eat
The perfumed Lotus! It's here you gather
The miraculous fruits for which your heart hungers;
Come and get drunken with the strange sweetness
Of this eternal afternoon?"
By the familiar accent we know the specter;
Our Pylades yonder stretch out their arms towards us.
"To refresh your heart swim to your Electra!"
Cries she whose knees we kissed in other days.
VIII
O Death, old captain, it is time! let's weigh anchor!
This country wearies us, O Death! Let us set sail!
Though the sea and the sky are black as ink,
Our hearts which you know well are filled with rays of light
This fire burns our brains so fiercely, we wish to plunge
To the abyss' depths, Heaven or Hell, does it matter?
To the depths of the Unknown to find something new!"
Le Voyage (in the original French)
I
Pour l'enfant, amoureux de cartes et d'estampes,
L'univers est égal à son vaste appétit.
Ah! que le monde est grand à la clarté des lampes!
Aux yeux du souvenir que le monde est petit!
Un matin nous partons, le cerveau plein de flamme,
Le coeur gros de rancune et de désirs amers,
Et nous allons, suivant le rythme de la lame,
Berçant notre infini sur le fini des mers:
Les uns, joyeux de fuir une patrie infâme;
D'autres, l'horreur de leurs berceaux, et quelques-uns,
Astrologues noyés dans les yeux d'une femme,
La Circé tyrannique aux dangereux parfums.
Pour n'être pas changés en bêtes, ils s'enivrent
D'espace et de lumière et de cieux embrasés;
La glace qui les mord, les soleils qui les cuivrent,
Effacent lentement la marque des baisers.
Mais les vrais voyageurs sont ceux-là seuls qui partent
Pour partir; coeurs légers, semblables aux ballons,
De leur fatalité jamais ils ne s'écartent,
Et, sans savoir pourquoi, disent toujours: Allons!
Ceux-là dont les désirs ont la forme des nues,
Et qui rêvent, ainsi qu'un conscrit le canon,
De vastes voluptés, changeantes, inconnues,
Et dont l'esprit humain n'a jamais su le nom!
II
Nous imitons, horreur! la toupie et la boule
Dans leur valse et leurs bonds; même dans nos sommeils
La Curiosité nous tourmente et nous roule
Comme un Ange cruel qui fouette des soleils.
Singulière fortune où le but se déplace,
Et, n'étant nulle part, peut être n'importe où!
Où l'Homme, dont jamais l'espérance n'est lasse,
Pour trouver le repos court toujours comme un fou!
Notre âme est un trois-mâts cherchant son Icarie;
Une voix retentit sur le pont: «Ouvre l'oeil!»
Une voix de la hune, ardente et folle, crie:
«Amour... gloire... bonheur!» Enfer! c'est un écueil!
Chaque îlot signalé par l'homme de vigie
Est un Eldorado promis par le Destin;
L'Imagination qui dresse son orgie
Ne trouve qu'un récif aux clartés du matin.
Ô le pauvre amoureux des pays chimériques!
Faut-il le mettre aux fers, le jeter à la mer,
Ce matelot ivrogne, inventeur d'Amériques
Dont le mirage rend le gouffre plus amer?
Tel le vieux vagabond, piétinant dans la boue,
Rêve, le nez en l'air, de brillants paradis;
Son oeil ensorcelé découvre une Capoue
Partout où la chandelle illumine un taudis.
III
Etonnants voyageurs! quelles nobles histoires
Nous lisons dans vos yeux profonds comme les mers!
Montrez-nous les écrins de vos riches mémoires,
Ces bijoux merveilleux, faits d'astres et d'éthers.
Nous voulons voyager sans vapeur et sans voile!
Faites, pour égayer l'ennui de nos prisons,
Passer sur nos esprits, tendus comme une toile,
Vos souvenirs avec leurs cadres d'horizons.
Dites, qu'avez-vous vu?
IV
«Nous avons vu des astres
Et des flots, nous avons vu des sables aussi;
Et, malgré bien des chocs et d'imprévus désastres,
Nous nous sommes souvent ennuyés, comme ici.
La gloire du soleil sur la mer violette,
La gloire des cités dans le soleil couchant,
Allumaient dans nos coeurs une ardeur inquiète
De plonger dans un ciel au reflet alléchant.
Les plus riches cités, les plus grands paysages,
Jamais ne contenaient l'attrait mystérieux
De ceux que le hasard fait avec les nuages.
Et toujours le désir nous rendait soucieux!
— La jouissance ajoute au désir de la force.
Désir, vieil arbre à qui le plaisir sert d'engrais,
Cependant que grossit et durcit ton écorce,
Tes branches veulent voir le soleil de plus près!
Grandiras-tu toujours, grand arbre plus vivace
Que le cyprès? — Pourtant nous avons, avec soin,
Cueilli quelques croquis pour votre album vorace
Frères qui trouvez beau tout ce qui vient de loin!
Nous avons salué des idoles à trompe;
Des trônes constellés de joyaux lumineux;
Des palais ouvragés dont la féerique pompe
Serait pour vos banquiers un rêve ruineux;
Des costumes qui sont pour les yeux une ivresse;
Des femmes dont les dents et les ongles sont teints,
Et des jongleurs savants que le serpent caresse.»
V
Et puis, et puis encore?
VI
«Ô cerveaux enfantins!
Pour ne pas oublier la chose capitale,
Nous avons vu partout, et sans l'avoir cherché,
Du haut jusques en bas de l'échelle fatale,
Le spectacle ennuyeux de l'immortel péché:
La femme, esclave vile, orgueilleuse et stupide,
Sans rire s'adorant et s'aimant sans dégoût;
L'homme, tyran goulu, paillard, dur et cupide,
Esclave de l'esclave et ruisseau dans l'égout;
Le bourreau qui jouit, le martyr qui sanglote;
La fête qu'assaisonne et parfume le sang;
Le poison du pouvoir énervant le despote,
Et le peuple amoureux du fouet abrutissant;
Plusieurs religions semblables à la nôtre,
Toutes escaladant le ciel; la Sainteté,
Comme en un lit de plume un délicat se vautre,
Dans les clous et le crin cherchant la volupté;
L'Humanité bavarde, ivre de son génie,
Et, folle maintenant comme elle était jadis,
Criant à Dieu, dans sa furibonde agonie:
»Ô mon semblable, mon maître, je te maudis!«
Et les moins sots, hardis amants de la Démence,
Fuyant le grand troupeau parqué par le Destin,
Et se réfugiant dans l'opium immense!
— Tel est du globe entier l'éternel bulletin.»
VII
Amer savoir, celui qu'on tire du voyage!
Le monde, monotone et petit, aujourd'hui,
Hier, demain, toujours, nous fait voir notre image:
Une oasis d'horreur dans un désert d'ennui!
Faut-il partir? rester? Si tu peux rester, reste;
Pars, s'il le faut. L'un court, et l'autre se tapit
Pour tromper l'ennemi vigilant et funeste,
Le Temps! Il est, hélas! des coureurs sans répit,
Comme le Juif errant et comme les apôtres,
À qui rien ne suffit, ni wagon ni vaisseau,
Pour fuir ce rétiaire infâme; il en est d'autres
Qui savent le tuer sans quitter leur berceau.
Lorsque enfin il mettra le pied sur notre échine,
Nous pourrons espérer et crier: En avant!
De même qu'autrefois nous partions pour la Chine,
Les yeux fixés au large et les cheveux au vent,
Nous nous embarquerons sur la mer des Ténèbres
Avec le coeur joyeux d'un jeune passager.
Entendez-vous ces voix charmantes et funèbres,
Qui chantent: «Par ici vous qui voulez manger
Le Lotus parfumé! c'est ici qu'on vendange
Les fruits miraculeux dont votre coeur a faim;
Venez vous enivrer de la douceur étrange
De cette après-midi qui n'a jamais de fin!»
À l'accent familier nous devinons le spectre;
Nos Pylades là-bas tendent leurs bras vers nous.
«Pour rafraîchir ton coeur nage vers ton Electre!»
Dit celle dont jadis nous baisions les genoux.
VIII
Ô Mort, vieux capitaine, il est temps! levons l'ancre!
Ce pays nous ennuie, ô Mort! Appareillons!
Si le ciel et la mer sont noirs comme de l'encre,
Nos coeurs que tu connais sont remplis de rayons!
Nous voulons, tant ce feu nous brûle le cerveau,
Plonger au fond du gouffre, Enfer ou Ciel, qu'importe?
Au fond de l'Inconnu pour trouver du nouveau!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Forget false advertising
Ever feel like this?
This is an actual image on the website of a university, and as I sit here and make a half-hearted attempt to write my senior research paper with the new Madonna single playing in the background I can't help but share my discovery. Don't get me wrong, I love academia...but there are those times when you find yourself mentally unable to even finish a sentence on your blog, let alone communicate a thought from a 7-page research outline.
Could someone please pass the chocolate......?
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Health...care or crisis?
After having spent all of last week researching the three presidential candidate's foreign policies, analyzing their campaign rhetoric, and becoming even more frustrated with how little attention Americans actually pay to the policies themselves and the realities of the Iraq war, nuclear weapons, Russia, China and Africa to name a few, I am now drawn into the domestic sector. Concerns about health costs and the uninsured will help make this "the first presidential election that will have a good share of the campaign fought around health care," says Tommy Thompson, former secretary of Health and Human Services under President Bush. I desperately want to understand WHY so many people feel as though socialized medicine would be like Christmas for every single American and the salvation for all of our problems. To begin, it never hurts to find truth in a little humor:
Excerpt from "Stuff White People Like" -
In spite of having access to the best health insurance and fanciest hospitals, white people are passionate about the idea of socialized medicine. So much so that they have memorized statistics and examples of how for-profit medicine has destroyed the United States.
Candidates:
Admit it...no one in their right mind would state that they do not desire universal health care. It's the route that one takes in reaching that goal, and by adopting policies that sound attractive, convenient, "European", and have perhaps worked somewhat well in another country, does not mean that it has the ability to be adopted by the United States with risks that outweigh any possible benefits of your ability to see your doctor when you are ill.
I'm not an economic scholar, however, if as American's we do not choose to educate ourselves on the policy beneath the rhetoric of this upcoming election...and understand the realities of our world (yes, the WORLD, not just the United States) then don't expect any sympathy from me when we're still in Iraq under Clinton or Obama (because they WILL leave troops there, and would be idiot's not to---see any scholarly research such as Foreign Affairs or the Council on Foreign Relations)..... or when it's YOUR turn to wait a month just to schedule an MRI.
Excerpt from "Stuff White People Like" -
In spite of having access to the best health insurance and fanciest hospitals, white people are passionate about the idea of socialized medicine. So much so that they have memorized statistics and examples of how for-profit medicine has destroyed the United States.
But before you can exploit this information for personal gain, it’s important that you understand why white people are so in love with free health care.
The first and most obvious reason is “they have it in Europe.” White people love all things European, this especially true of things that are unavailable in the United States (Rare Beers, Absinthe, legal marijuana, prostitution, soccer). The fact that it’s available in Canada isn’t really that impressive, but it does contribute to their willingness to threaten to move there.
These desires were only heightened in 2007 when Michael Moore released “Sicko,” a documentary that contrasts the health care industry in the United States with that of Canada, France and Cuba. As a general rule of thumb, white people are always extra passionate about issues that have been the subject of a Moore documentary. As a test, ask them about 9/11, Gun Control, or Health Care and then say “where did you get that information?” You will not be surprised at the results.
But the secret reason why all white people love socialized medicine is that they all love the idea of receiving health care without having a full-time job. This would allow them to work as a freelance designer/consultant/copywriter/photographer/blogger, open their own bookstore, stay at home with their kids, or be a part of an Internet start-up without having to worry about a benefits package. Though many of them would never follow this path, they appreciate having the option.
If you need to impress a white person, merely mention how you got hurt on a recent trip Canada/England/Sweden and though you were a foreigner you received excellent and free health care. They will be very impressed and likely tell you about how powerful drug and health care lobbies are destroying everything.
Though their passion for national health care runs deep, it is important to remember that white people are most in favor of it when they are healthy. They love the idea of everyone have equal access to the resources that will keep them alive, that is until they have to wait in line for an MRI.
This is very similar to the way that white people express their support for public schools when they don’t have children.
~~~~~~~~~~~Candidates:
Cover everyone?
Clinton's and Obama's plans are similar in many ways, but they disagree on at least one key point: Clinton would require all people to have insurance. Obama would only require parents to have coverage for their children.
McCain would emphasize tax credits to help purchase health coverage and not require anyone to have insurance. He says too many rules already govern insurance and are driving up costs. To reduce insurance regulations, McCain's proposal would allow consumers to shop for lower-cost insurance in any state, not just where they live — a change from most state laws.
Covering everyone. Really. The estimated cost is over 110 billion dollars...and much analysis has stated that it could be even higher. While I personally am less concerned about options under socialized medicine, I certainly fear for the availability of doctors and specialists if perhaps I am ever in a car accident and have to wait for care because the emergency room is swamped (10 times more than what it already is NOW!) Len Burman, director of the centrist Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center, says McCain's plan would improve the current system because it offers low-income residents a refundable tax credit to buy insurance.Admit it...no one in their right mind would state that they do not desire universal health care. It's the route that one takes in reaching that goal, and by adopting policies that sound attractive, convenient, "European", and have perhaps worked somewhat well in another country, does not mean that it has the ability to be adopted by the United States with risks that outweigh any possible benefits of your ability to see your doctor when you are ill.
I'm not an economic scholar, however, if as American's we do not choose to educate ourselves on the policy beneath the rhetoric of this upcoming election...and understand the realities of our world (yes, the WORLD, not just the United States) then don't expect any sympathy from me when we're still in Iraq under Clinton or Obama (because they WILL leave troops there, and would be idiot's not to---see any scholarly research such as Foreign Affairs or the Council on Foreign Relations)..... or when it's YOUR turn to wait a month just to schedule an MRI.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
"Oh! I get the free stuffed dog?" ...thoughts on consumerism.
First of all, to all of my English-speaking friends, I apologize for the previous French post, but I had watched a movie in French on the Algerian War and I just had to write out my thoughts afterwards. I encourage you to rent "Days of Glory" to get a glimpse of the detrimental effects of colonization and how identity, security and well-being not only in Algeria, but in all of Africa remains a struggle to this day.
At the moment, I am sitting in Panera eating a salad after having worked on senior research for several hours in Caribou Coffee here in the Greene Center in Dayton. I paused to do a little shopping at Sephora and Victoria's Secret only to find myself in complete bliss with my new red trench, sunglasses and shopping bags on a sunny day in consumer heaven. I admit I walked with a certain flair through the center on my way to my lunch destination, but it made me question why I loved this moment of the day. Was it simply the refreshing break from the policy research I had been doing? Or the treatment I received from the women in Sephora who made a strong effort to ensure that I was comfortable, taken care of, and found what I was looking for (and then some)? Was it the free stuffed dog I got at Victoria's Secret for making a $25 purchase? Or maybe Kelly Clarkson singing "Miss Independent" through the parking meeter speakers. I think it was a combination of many things, most of which go all the way back to a hidden board room meeting where researchers and business men and women spend their days thinking up ways to make me feel good in this mini utopia. I don't feel bad for enjoying it, but I'm torn as to how far I need to distance myself from this world when I do research on the suffering in Palestine or read stories about genitally mutilated girls in Somalia. Where do I find myself? What must I sacrifice and how can I balance my passions and interests? If I wasn't the person that I am, perhaps I would not have befriended the African girl in my French class who likes to shop and who I have taken out several times for coffee. I'm learning quite a bit about who I am right here, right now, (even as I sit here in Panera) and with only 51 days left until I leave this place of study, stress, friends, and memories, I can only hope that I continue to live in a forward looking direction, not dwelling on the past, nor worrying about the present, and hoping that somehow my life can make a difference while taking what I love to higher places.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Yes I know, the entire world is in love with "Once" now, but I’m not going to let it stop me from appreciating someone’s work that has moved thousands of people to recognize it for its genius.
I want to send a note of encouragement to anyone who feels like they're sinking...in whatever aspect of life you might be in. I find peace (over and over again) in a Savior who never fails me (although I fail Him DAILY!) Thus, go live the day, and may the peace that I have found be found in your lives as well...maybe even in Sephora. ;)
Prayers of the day -
4. For Peace
Eternal God, in whose perfect kingdom no sword is drawn
but the sword of righteousness, no strength known but the
strength of love: So mightily spread abroad your Spirit, that
all peoples may be gathered under the banner of the Prince of
Peace, as children of one Father; to whom be dominion and
glory, now and for ever. Amen.
38. For the Right Use of God’s Gifts
Almighty God, whose loving hand hath given us all that we
possess: Grant us grace that we may honor thee with our
substance, and, remembering the account which we must one
day give, may be faithful stewards of thy bounty, through
Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
-The Book of Common Prayer
At the moment, I am sitting in Panera eating a salad after having worked on senior research for several hours in Caribou Coffee here in the Greene Center in Dayton. I paused to do a little shopping at Sephora and Victoria's Secret only to find myself in complete bliss with my new red trench, sunglasses and shopping bags on a sunny day in consumer heaven. I admit I walked with a certain flair through the center on my way to my lunch destination, but it made me question why I loved this moment of the day. Was it simply the refreshing break from the policy research I had been doing? Or the treatment I received from the women in Sephora who made a strong effort to ensure that I was comfortable, taken care of, and found what I was looking for (and then some)? Was it the free stuffed dog I got at Victoria's Secret for making a $25 purchase? Or maybe Kelly Clarkson singing "Miss Independent" through the parking meeter speakers. I think it was a combination of many things, most of which go all the way back to a hidden board room meeting where researchers and business men and women spend their days thinking up ways to make me feel good in this mini utopia. I don't feel bad for enjoying it, but I'm torn as to how far I need to distance myself from this world when I do research on the suffering in Palestine or read stories about genitally mutilated girls in Somalia. Where do I find myself? What must I sacrifice and how can I balance my passions and interests? If I wasn't the person that I am, perhaps I would not have befriended the African girl in my French class who likes to shop and who I have taken out several times for coffee. I'm learning quite a bit about who I am right here, right now, (even as I sit here in Panera) and with only 51 days left until I leave this place of study, stress, friends, and memories, I can only hope that I continue to live in a forward looking direction, not dwelling on the past, nor worrying about the present, and hoping that somehow my life can make a difference while taking what I love to higher places.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Yes I know, the entire world is in love with "Once" now, but I’m not going to let it stop me from appreciating someone’s work that has moved thousands of people to recognize it for its genius.
I want to send a note of encouragement to anyone who feels like they're sinking...in whatever aspect of life you might be in. I find peace (over and over again) in a Savior who never fails me (although I fail Him DAILY!) Thus, go live the day, and may the peace that I have found be found in your lives as well...maybe even in Sephora. ;)
Prayers of the day -
4. For Peace
Eternal God, in whose perfect kingdom no sword is drawn
but the sword of righteousness, no strength known but the
strength of love: So mightily spread abroad your Spirit, that
all peoples may be gathered under the banner of the Prince of
Peace, as children of one Father; to whom be dominion and
glory, now and for ever. Amen.
38. For the Right Use of God’s Gifts
Almighty God, whose loving hand hath given us all that we
possess: Grant us grace that we may honor thee with our
substance, and, remembering the account which we must one
day give, may be faithful stewards of thy bounty, through
Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
-The Book of Common Prayer
Saturday, March 1, 2008
À quoi sert "l’identité nationale?"
Je viens de voir un film français de la guerre où les Algériens a battu avec les Français contre le Nazisme. Il s'appelle "Days of Glory." Il faut le voir. À ce moment, je pense à l’idée d’un « identité nationale » car jusqu’au ce jour-là il existe le racisme et l’inégalité en France entre les immigrés et même les étrangers qui veulent trouver une vie nouvelle eux-mêmes et aux enfants. Même si j’écris ma recherche de l’identité et l’immigration en France ce semestre, je veux savoir comment identifier où nous la trouvons.
Dix minutes plus tard…
Merde ! Ce n’est pas juste ! J’ai trouvé un petit film par le directeur qui a fait un film des gens qui viennent de Sénégal qui ont été tués à cause d’ils ont demandé leur salaire en 1945. Je déteste la colonisation, je déteste la guerre, et je déteste l’attitude des Français qui regardent même aujourd’hui (pas tous, mais beaucoup) les étrangers comme « racaille » dit par Nicolas Sarkozy, il y a trois années.
Alors, je continue. Si vous demandiez à un étranger aux Etats-Unis où est ses « indenté » c’est normale à répondre « Je suis Africain-American, Asian-American, ou bien même Franco-American ». Mais ça ne marche pas en France. Selon moi, il faut qu’on ne fasse pas seulement le recherche d’identité et l’égalité, mais aussi devenir connu aux gens qui veulent une vie nouvelle, qui veulent trouver une identité nouvelle, mais ils ne peuvent pas à cause de l'idée d'un identité nationale. Où se trouve « liberté, égalité et fraternité » aujourd'hui???
Les Algériens sont mort avec les Français en 1945, et je souhaite que tout le monde soit connus aux histoires des gens comme eux.
Dix minutes plus tard…
Merde ! Ce n’est pas juste ! J’ai trouvé un petit film par le directeur qui a fait un film des gens qui viennent de Sénégal qui ont été tués à cause d’ils ont demandé leur salaire en 1945. Je déteste la colonisation, je déteste la guerre, et je déteste l’attitude des Français qui regardent même aujourd’hui (pas tous, mais beaucoup) les étrangers comme « racaille » dit par Nicolas Sarkozy, il y a trois années.
Alors, je continue. Si vous demandiez à un étranger aux Etats-Unis où est ses « indenté » c’est normale à répondre « Je suis Africain-American, Asian-American, ou bien même Franco-American ». Mais ça ne marche pas en France. Selon moi, il faut qu’on ne fasse pas seulement le recherche d’identité et l’égalité, mais aussi devenir connu aux gens qui veulent une vie nouvelle, qui veulent trouver une identité nouvelle, mais ils ne peuvent pas à cause de l'idée d'un identité nationale. Où se trouve « liberté, égalité et fraternité » aujourd'hui???
Les Algériens sont mort avec les Français en 1945, et je souhaite que tout le monde soit connus aux histoires des gens comme eux.
Friday, February 22, 2008
"Gluttons for Punishment"
"Merde!" I swore in French after I realized that the electricity wasn't coming back on anytime soon. I was alone in the apartment, Megan and Karen had left for the forensics tournament, and I had planned on getting my French homework done and catching up on some research during this night of solitude. The seven candles in my room at this point were not the best solution for my soon-to-be ailing eyes (if I was doing this much reading as an undergraduate...would I be blind by the end of grad school?), and I really wanted to watch one of my favorite French films before going to bed.
All right, so it took less than an hour for the electricity to come back on, but at this point I had worked myself up into a fuss about how my very scheduled evening was foiled. I have books to read! Research to do! Vocabulary to memorize! Internships for which to apply! And why on earth does Johnny Depp not get more screen time in "Chocolat????"
Why is it that when something goes wrong during the most "inappropriate" times in our lives that we gets so incredibly stressed? We want to do it all...and then some. Days are scheduled, appointments are made, and we look at our watches far too often. We like to have fun, but get nervous when conversations last too long. We want to be involved, but fear that the stack of books on our desks will never get read as we research for that other thing we signed up for last week.
It's the oddest time in our lives, this last semester. I find myself moving back and forth between emotions of over-achievement--apathy--stress--contentment--a calling to save all of Africa--to a multiplicity of other feelings that will often all get felt in the same day. A friend told us that we are "gluttons for punishment"--the three of us here in this currently well-lit apartment--and we laughed at the truth held in that statement. I used to curl up in a sense of agony/agreement every time I read Sylvia Plath's words "I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest." (Esther greenwood in "The Bell Jar") But now, I feel like I don't have to choose anymore, that instead her thought poses to me a challenge rather than giving me a sense of dread. Once this rather utopian world of academia and learning comes to an end, it will be up to me to decide how not to "lose" all the rest. Because when you think about it, the most cherished memories come from the days when you were hanging on to the things you most loved, the things you got excited about, and maybe, even the things that made you cry. And yet, I will fight to the death not to lose them.
All right, so it took less than an hour for the electricity to come back on, but at this point I had worked myself up into a fuss about how my very scheduled evening was foiled. I have books to read! Research to do! Vocabulary to memorize! Internships for which to apply! And why on earth does Johnny Depp not get more screen time in "Chocolat????"
Why is it that when something goes wrong during the most "inappropriate" times in our lives that we gets so incredibly stressed? We want to do it all...and then some. Days are scheduled, appointments are made, and we look at our watches far too often. We like to have fun, but get nervous when conversations last too long. We want to be involved, but fear that the stack of books on our desks will never get read as we research for that other thing we signed up for last week.
It's the oddest time in our lives, this last semester. I find myself moving back and forth between emotions of over-achievement--apathy--stress--contentment--a calling to save all of Africa--to a multiplicity of other feelings that will often all get felt in the same day. A friend told us that we are "gluttons for punishment"--the three of us here in this currently well-lit apartment--and we laughed at the truth held in that statement. I used to curl up in a sense of agony/agreement every time I read Sylvia Plath's words "I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest." (Esther greenwood in "The Bell Jar") But now, I feel like I don't have to choose anymore, that instead her thought poses to me a challenge rather than giving me a sense of dread. Once this rather utopian world of academia and learning comes to an end, it will be up to me to decide how not to "lose" all the rest. Because when you think about it, the most cherished memories come from the days when you were hanging on to the things you most loved, the things you got excited about, and maybe, even the things that made you cry. And yet, I will fight to the death not to lose them.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Congratulations!
You've just created your new blog! Click Brad Pitt's face to win a free iPod!
This post is dedicated to Heather Wenzel-Colletto. :)
This post is dedicated to Heather Wenzel-Colletto. :)
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